Why Good Sex Necessarily Doesn’t Spell Love

This article i'm sharing with you today is kind of funny to me because like a few minutes ago I was having a conversation with my collegue who was complaing about short lived marriages,I said alot of people assume because you have great sex together it translates that your lives together would be perfect. That doen't happen so I decided to blog about it,here's what i discovered:

 

 You met a guy you’re mad about, and decided to bite the bullet and have sex.The sex was mind-blowing, you both had a fabulous time, and now you’re even crazier about him than before!
In your mind you’ve just reached a milestone in your relationship and you can’t wait to see where it’s going next. Your emotions are all tangled up over him, and you feel like you’re now closer than ever.

A bit of time passes, and you begin to feel like feelings aren’t being reciprocated in quite the manner you expected, considering you’ve now been intimate together. Stop right there, because that’s where lies an issue. This may sting a bit but you need to know and understand this.

Men and women are two different animals that tend to view sex in entirely different ways. The hard truth is that just because your feelings deepen with sex it doesn’t mean his do. In fact men have the ability to completely separate sex from emotion, and women all over the world are left feeling a little confused after getting naked, wondering why he doesn’t seem to feel as emotionally connected as they now do. For Men of course are perfectly capable of sharing casual sex with a woman and being 100% OK that casual is all that it is. They don’t have to love someone to have sex with them. In fact some men don’t even have to like a woman to have sex with her.

Sex can be seen by men as strictly a recreational act, a physical way to have fun and enjoy the time he’s spending with a woman. Love simply isn’t a requirement for that to happen, even if the sex itself is crazy good. Women can often mistakenly assume that sex means an emotional bond is already there, or even worse that sex will create that bond.

When all is said and done though, unless that bond was already established because you both invested the time in each other to nurture it… one sexual encounter doesn’t make that bond magically appear.
If that emotional connection is missing, then to a guy good sex is just that and he is always more than happy to engage in it when it is offered. He may even have a great time and want to do it again… but it doesn’t mean he wll be mentally picking out rings for the two of you and convincing himself you’re “the one”. Ultimately one of the most important questions you need to ask yourself before ever having sex with a man is this- Can you handle it if things just don’t work out like you hope?Sometimes good sex is just good sex.

 

With all said and done ladies think with your head.



Togo women call sex strike

   

Contrary to what the picture above says, lol, it was just so funny i had to put it up,but here's some serious developments going on in our neighbor country Togo.

Women in Togo have been urged to abstain from sex for a week from Monday to push their demand for reform. The ban has been called by opposition coalition Let's Save Togo, made up of nine civil society groups and seven opposition parties and movements. Opposition leader Isabelle Ameganvi said that sex could be a "weapon of the battle" to achieve political change. The coalition wants President Faure Gnassingbe, whose family has held power for decades, to stand down.  She said she had been inspired by a similar strike by Liberian women in 2003, who used a sex strike to campaign for peace. "If men refuse to hear our cries we will hold another demonstration that will be more powerful than a sex strike," she added...culled from BBC.

Well  a sex strike for a week? will it work? because the only message being passed across here is that these guys get "it" on a regular so they might be compelled to listen if the don't have sex for a week. I just hope it works,thoughts on this move anyone?

Ghana Women, Ranked Most Unfaithful In The Whole World

Malaysians are ranked third in the world for being the most unfaithful partner, reported China Press.
According to a survey, 33 percent of Malaysian men admitted that they were unfaithful to their spouses. Thailand is first at 54 percent while South Korea came in second with 34 percent.

After Malaysia, the countries next on the list were Russia at 32 percent and Hong Kong at 29 percent.
Some 39 percent of Malaysian women also confessed to having betrayed their partners. The top two countries are Ghana at 62 percent and Thailand at 59 percent. Russian women are the fourth most unfaithful at 33 percent while Singaporeans are fifth at 19 percent. The survey, conducted by condom manufacturer Durex, was based on interviews with 29,000 people in 36 countries.
It also revealed that Malaysian men have an average of three sex partners in their lives while those in Singapore and Hong Kong have 16, which is the highest in Asia.


Is it just me or are these Durex people just causing unnecessary trouble and confusion? well thank goodness Nigeria is in the clear in this one,go on GHANA lol.

WHO IS BETTER AT CHEATING?

According to relationship expert Cooper Lawrence, women are better cheaters, because they are better at keeping secrets! Lawrence says cheating is up among women in committed relationships because women now have the means and the motive. Women are financially independent and more likely to walk away from a relationship that isn’t satisfying. For many fans, celebrity couple Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were the perfect match. So it came as a shock when word spread that the break-up was reportedly caused by infidelity, and it was Stewart who did the cheating!

So I guess the question  is do you agree? don't be a stranger,drop your answer let's have our own survey done lol!

FASHION FACE OFF: WHO ROCKED IT BETTER

                                                 

Celebrity photograph Toni Tones (below) vs TV personality Kemi Adetiba (above) in a Jovani nude sequin dress.Who rocked it better? I'll go for Kemi she ROCKED the hell outta that dress :)

HE'S SEXY...AND HE KNOWS IT *SIGHS*

                              

Seriously now i really don't know what to say besides the fact that he frequently scores goal on and off the pitch if you know what i mean. Christiano Ronaldo fondly called CR7 is a spectacular footballer who plays for Real Madrid and it seems he's in a constant power struggle with Lionel Messi but on the hotness radar? Cristiano beats him hands down...DAMN                    

FASHION FACE OFF: LITTLE BLUE DRESS

This one is kind of hard for me to pick who the winner is,so I'll toss the ball over to you what do you think between singer Goldie and TV personality Yvonne Ekwere in blue velvet short dress. Who wore it better?

TOP TEN TURN OFFS FOR MEN!

                                                                   

  

I have said this before and i'll say it again this dating game can be tough but while we(single ladies) are still out there it makes so much sense that we go out there properly armed. I did so digging and i came out with the top 10 major turn offs for men. You might need to pay serious attention here ladies:

1. Second-Guessing 

If  asking for your man's advice is going to end up in a debate then it's best you don't ask at all,men view things from the face value and don't necessarily have time to bother with the details. Don't give your man a hard time because he doesn't see things from your point of view.

2. Assuming 

One of the reasons men can be squeamish about women’s emotions is because they often belie the exact opposite feeling.If you mean one thing it would save alot of trouble if you just say what you mean and not leave the men second guessing what you mean.

3. Smothering Instead of Mothering

Women can confuse these two impulses––knowing the difference is crucial. One elicits gratitude in men; the other, doesn't. Like when men are sick. Mothering is a source of comfort that understands the sickness is temporary. Smothering says their small boys who have no idea how to take care of themselves kind of unmanning them. 

4. Having a Superiority Complex

It appears to be an increasing trend among women to equate being male with being dumb.This is disrespectful.

5. Over-Sharing

Men are aware of the stereotype that says men never open up about their feelings.The fear is that sometimes opening up to your girlfriend also means opening up to her sister,mother. Men value loyalty and confidentiality. Keeping the things shared strictly between you two this builds trust and will encourage even more communication. A win-win situation for everyone.

6. Not Really Listening 

Many women believe that their lives deserve the spotlight, and the fact that many men go along with this shouldn’t be construed as a license to spill. Teir emotions are just as important,ask how his day went and genuinely listen to his response.

7. RSVPing

Any man can relate to this moment: You’re on your way home from work, imagining the weekend ahead…the relaxation, the freedom. Then you arrive home, only to learn that you have plans. Magical plans, it seems, since they appeared out of nowhere.If women are determined to make plans that includes their husband or boyfriend, ask them first. And be prepared to hear that he might be too tired or would prefer to have a quiet weekend. Honoring his preferences from time to time will not go unnoticed.

8. Fast-forwarding to the Future

Women enjoy imagining the future.The story as it will be as opposed to the story that is right now. Don't push men into a plan that wasn't initially theirs. 

9. Overlooking Quiet Acts of Thoughtfulness

It's  known that it’s disappointing that men aren’t great at expressing themselves verbally. But in the same vein, it's disappointing that women can’t seem to acknowledge the nonverbal acts of caring that are performed. Like changing the oil in your car, for example. The art of being a gentleman doesn’t have to mean the end of feminism. Paying for dinner, holding the door open, standing up when you walk into a room…these are all gestures that demonstrate awareness of others. The awareness of women. While courtesy isn’t the sum total of love,it is part of the way men show their feelings day to day. Women shouldn't ignore that.

10. Devaluing Male Friendships

Friendships were once considered a formative presence in a man’s life. Older men were role models who helped develop character, while peers provided a level of camaraderie While the value of sisterhood is encouraged for women, the male equivalent is often not respected and much of that is because women regard male friendships as being at odds with their romantic relationships.The women should encourage rather than discourage time with their buddies.

This is like a universal list that works for both Nigerian men and any other man from anywhere else. Ladies give this considerate thought and you'll love the results after the implementation.

                                                                   

SAY I LOVE YOU...WITHOUT WORDS *WINK*

 

I figure there are people out there that are kind of like me,you know getting tongue tied when you are emotion laden, so i guess you'll relate with this article.When you and your significant other have reached the point that you two know your serious and he's quite expressive and you on the other hand, for the life of you,can't seem to be as expressive! Fret not that's where I come in saying those 3 special  words without uttering a word,yes that's right saying I love you without words and here are 8 ways to go about it:

STEP 1: Be fully present. 

The greatest way to let a person know that you love them is to give your undivided attention, and to be fully present when they're around. Put away the never-ending work, put aside the hobby, turn off the TV, and find time to spend together!

STEP 2: Make your loved one laugh. 

When you love someone, you love seeing them happy, and nothing exhibits happiness more like genuine laughter. So be lighthearted and playful. See how many times in one day you can make the person smile or laugh. It's especially great to try and make someone laugh when they're not supposed to laugh.

STEP 3: Give handmade gifts.

You don't have to wait until a holiday or birthday comes up in order to get a gift or better yet make one. Shows you think about the person all the time and you don't need a special occasion to show it.

STEP 4: Give that special someone a massage. 

Nothing spells out luxury and intimacy like a generous massage.(I happen to be good at this lol)

STEP 5: Connect from afar. 

Wherever you are, whether at the dinner table seated opposite one another, or across the auditorium, try to connect and send one another love. Blow kisses, smile knowingly, or wink! (aww this particle step I can really relate with cus i once dated a guy that made it a point to hold my hand or give me hugs spur-of-the-moment it was cute lol)

STEP 6: Be a good listener. 

When you sincerely listen to someone, you're not only opening your ears, but you're also opening your heart. By empathizing, you will strengthen your connection and deepen your love.

STEP 7: Hug. 

A hug speaks more than words ever could. It says "I love you" as well as letting the person receiving the hug know that you care and support them.(so so true)

STEP 8: Avoid taking a transactional view of love. 

Don't get angry if the person doesn't "do it back". It may take some time for your mate to recognize that you're expressing love. But they will. 

Like I've said before if you can't say it show it!! *hugs* thank me later.

HOW DO I MAKE HIM RESPECT ME?

 

Here's my two cents on this matter you as a woman aren't gonna be going around sleeping with every man that makes eyes with you and expect him to respect you and think of getting seriously involved with you. Now i know for sure that men like the chase it's  like a game for them the harder it is you make them wait the more they respect you-there's an exception to every rule though,lol just hope the guy you really like isn't the type to give up without even trying!-. Seriously though i figure that there are advantages to one night stands but just as there are advantages,there are disadvantages if your looking for a SERIOUS relationship then it's best you don't drop your pants so quickly thinking giving it up will keep him around long enough. As usual don't take my word for it read an except of an interview with a man on his view of women that are too willing to sleep with him:

Well i can only tell you how i feel on this matter, to gain a guys respect i believe the first thing is to not start anything sexual, play hard to get if he wants you he can wait. now I've dated girls that give themselves up fairly easily and it hurts me when they do this i feel that they have no respect for themselves, i think that this tells most guys that they don't have to respect them either, so i guess that to gain a mans respect a woman needs to respect herself first, any guy who doesn't respect a woman who respects herself isn't a man but a very immature boy.

 Make him start earning you. Dinner, long walks, concerts, telling you how he feels. If these things don't surface soon, all he wants is your body. If that's all you want, then you're fine, but if you want respect, ask for it!

NEED I SAY MORE?

FASHION FACE OFF:Naija Celebs

Gosh this is gonna be hard no doubt,both Nigerian actresses Genevieve Nnaji and Omotola Jolade-Ehkinde have been seen to be wearing the same dress and if i can say both look awesome in it. My vote goes to the lady in the right,she made the dress look elegant!! not taking anything away from Omotola but she looks ready for a party with the shoes ans the way the dress sits on her but Genny made it look like the kinda dress you could wear to meet diplomats. *sighs* okay go on Vote who rocked it better?

OLYMPICS: SIDE ATTRACTION

 

The Olympic games ended with allot of glitz and glamour although one person I know thought the opening and closing ceremony was too "busy" and she couldn't relate with it. Whatever side of the divide you fall on I was just too happy to see my all time favorite band QUEEN(which i never knew till yesterday they were a British band) perform yesterday night! Anyway the point of this post is that there was a prophet who had stated there would be allot of SEX during and indeed after the Olympics hehehe the article was published and i found it,it reads like this: 

RANDY athletes will turn London 2012 into the Sex Games, according to one gorgeous gold medal winner.

Olympics Organizers have arranged for a record 150,000 free condoms to be packed into dispensers around Games’ venues.

And women’s football goalkeeper Hope Solo, who won gold with the US team in China, reckons they will be an essential part of the athletes’ kit. She revealed there was wall-to-wall sex at the Beijing Games, and the action is set to be even wilder in the less-stuffy UK. Organizers are shipping in 50,000 more condoms than were available in China. Hope, 30, predicted: “There will be a lot of sex going on.”

*Ahem* this goalkeeper babe ehn!! anyhow with no reports of any kind of scandalous sexual action taking place in the UK unlike the wall-wall action that went down in the Beijing Olympic games i'd have to say the London Olympic organizers actually did one better than China!! those extra 50,000 free condoms must have come in handy *wink*.

MY POEM

                                                                       

Female:

Don't just sit there get a move on,

You can't afford to stay idle don't you know people are watching?

Wash you brother’s clothes,

Cook dinner for your father,

Go to the market,

Do I have to tell you everything? You’re going to have your own family one day!!!

I have to strive to please her,

Don't want to disappoint,

People may say she didn't raise me well,

It's hard being diligent,

I must persevere,

This is the world I find myself in,

My brothers are so fortunate.

Maybe if I get it right this time,

I can negotiate how I come the next time!!

Your daughter is such a fine young lady,

She'll make a good wife yet,

We have to start arranging people for her,

She seems quite ready,

She'll fetch a good price because of her upbringing,

There are advantages having a female after all...

Wrote this one slow boring day in the office,just rediscovered it and decided to share it. Drop your thought' s on what you think about it,*ahem* constructive thought's only. 

FUNSTRUCTION!!

 I've been accused of putting up posts with alot of 

                                            sexual innuendo's!! In my bid to dish out relationship advice and of course give the womenfolk the much needed information about themselves has put me in trouble!! lol. This set back however will not stop me from bringing the occasional footie spoiler action *wink* and of course everything concerning men and women. Watch this space kik-ette is under funstruction.(derived from construction). Meanwhile before a certain lady kills me i have to give a shout out to CIANA she's the being in the background! lorry loads of love to all my supporters *hugs*

The Science Of Sex: Why Women Do It

 

Okay so there are loads of reasons why people have sex but here's an article on WHY WOMEN have sex. Being a woman myself i found this uber interesting so i had to chill a bit and read it,and now in turn share it. I wonder if you girls agree,this is what the study said:

In one survey on the subject, more than half of women believed that a sexual hookup is a stepping-stone to a relationship."  It’s the age-old question that men often ask themselves: Why do women have sex? And why do women have sex without commitment? It might be easy to assume that a woman’s sexuality is like a man’s, but if that were true, why would so many men still believe that there are good girls for marrying and fun girls for, well, fun? (That double standard is a myth, by the way.) Before you label her one thing or the other, consider her motives for hooking up with you. 

She Thinks Everybody's Doing It

Women feel pressure to have sex because of an urban legend that says “everyone else is doing it.” In actuality, this isn't true. A survey given on college campuses shows that college students talk about hookups far more than they’re actually occurring, so women think that becoming sexual with a man early on is normal behavior. 

She Wants A Relationship Afterward 

Women believe that hookups eventually lead to relationships. In one survey on the subject, more than half of women believed that a sexual hookup is a stepping-stone to a relationship. But the truth of the matter is, the earlier sex occurs in a relationship, the less likely the relationship will last. 

She Wants To Audition You

Women (and men) think they need to test out the sexual chemistry of a relationship to make sure they’re sexually compatible with their partner. If this were true, then people with the hottest sex early on would have the longest and most fulfilling relationships. But a study of more than 2,000 couples showed that the hotter the sex, the worse the outcome of the relationship. Sexual chemistry is something that is fashioned through emotional intimacy. 

She Desires To Be Desired 

Sex researchers have long known that women have different kinds of sexual “needs” than men. Women’s sexuality tends to be responsive, meaning that we respond to sexual opportunity rather than seek it out to fulfill some kind of necessary quota. When women meet someone they are attracted to, their sexual responses turn on. When they break up from a sexual relationship, they aren’t as likely as men to replace that relationship with daily masturbation or pornography. When single women feel “horny,” it is often an extension of their emotional need for companionship. 

She Finds Your Brain Super-Sexy

Unlike men, who have far more biological pressure to mate according to physical cues, women may even mate with men who are not physically attractive. Women may become aroused by personality, humor, self-confidence and social status, among other things. 

She's Too Old To Have A Bad Reputation

Women of a certain age actually have a heightened sex drive in response to their dwindling fertility. It’s as if when the baby factory shuts down, it pummels an arsenal of hormones and the odd healthy egg down those fallopian tubes, machine-gun style. One study found: “Women with declining fertility think more about sex, have more frequent and intense sexual fantasies, are more willing to engage in sexual intercourse, and report actually engaging in sexual intercourse more frequently than women of other age groups.”(....hmm explains why Madonna is so like the way she is!)

The moral of the story? If you’re thinking about settling down and starting a family soon, support her if she chooses to put sex on hold until you have built an emotionally intimate relationship. . 

*Ahem* interesting stuff aye? read more here:  http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/why-women-have-sex.html#ixzz22fOG4Rdu.

ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

  

Now here's the most common mistake we women make before marriage: thinking our man will change when he gets married. It doesn't always pan out that way especially if we can already see the tell tale signs of him being violent, we tend to want to ignore it,you know wish it away thinking it'll get better or sort it's self out when you two are married or that your love for him will triumph and all that jazz!! Why people stay in abusive relationship's is a topic for another day but how you as a woman can tell an abusive man before you get too deep is what this is about. Here are a few signs that'll tell you he's definantely gonna beat up on you:

Now According to the American Psychological Association Force on Violence and Family, they have broken down the top 10 signs of an abusive man. If your partner exhibits one or more of these signs, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship and seek help or get out.

1. Jealousy and Possessiveness—Becomes jealous over your family, friends, co-workers. Tries to isolate you. Views his woman and children as his property instead of as unique individuals. Accuses you of cheating or flirting with other men without cause. Always asks where you’ve been and with whom in an accusatory manner.

2. Control—He is overly demanding of your time and must be the center of your attention. He controls finances, the car, and the activities you partake in. Becomes angry if woman begins showing signs of independence or strength.

3. Superiority—He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be “right” by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.

4. Manipulates—Tells you you’re crazy or stupid so the blame is turned on you. Tries to make you think that it’s your fault he is abusive. Says he can’t help being abusive so you feel sorry for him and you keep trying to “help” him. Tells others you are unstable.

5. Mood Swings--His mood switches from aggressive and abusive to apologetic and loving after the abuse has occurred.

6. Actions don’t match words—He breaks promises, says he loves you, and then abuses you.

7. Punishes you—An emotionally abusive man may withhold sex, emotional intimacy, or plays the “silent game” as punishment when he doesn’t get his way. He verbally abuses you by frequently criticizing you.

8. Unwilling to seek help—An abusive man doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him so why should he seek help? Does not acknowledge his faults or blames it on his childhood or outside circumstances.

9. Disrespects women—Shows no respect towards his mother, sisters, or any women in his life. Thinks women are stupid and worthless.

10. Has a history of abusing women or was abused himself—Batterers repeat their patterns and seek out women who are submissive and can be controlled. Abusive behavior can be a generational dysfunction and abused men have a great chance of becoming abusers. Men who abuse animals are much more likely to abuse women also.
I thought this was important and had to share it, take it seriously and act on it.

SEX OOPS I MEAN CESC FABREGAS

 

How many ladies out there are footie fans? I can give you one good reason to become one right now!! his name is Cesc Fabregas!! I know he's 25 years old, *sighs* child abuse but i still got love, and plays for arguably the best club in the world BARCELONA. Hey but let's not forget he came from arsenal as an established star after a well drawn out transfer saga. Anyway, I came across this picture and for all you people that don't think footballers are sexy? open your eyes lol. Plus this was taken while he went for a routine medical at the club and it got me thinking... maybe i'm in the wrong profession.  *straight face*

SHE LOVES ME, SHE LOVES ME NOT!

 

I have been on the matter of the female for a while now so i decided to put something up for the guys. I understand that picking up women isn't easy lol so i decided to give you guys some clues to help you "toast" better. Now have you ever found yourself in a situation that you've gotten your toasting swag on and your feeling really good with yourself but your just not sure if the chick is "feeling you"? well here are just 4 little tips that can help you,note these tips don't mean she's fallen for you it just means she's interested in you and that  you’ve got enough rapport to begin to escalate the conversation to a more intimate level. *winks*

Signs a woman might be interested?

1. She is laughing at your jokes, even when they’re not funny

If a girl is being the perfect audience, laughing on cue, egging you on to talk more, and has a big smiled plastered across her face the entire time you’re talking it is a pretty clear indication that she’s enjoying your company. When we laugh at someone we unconsciously are saying “I like you. And I’m listening to what you’re saying.” And if she is going out of her way to make sure that she’s laughing … she is also going out of her way to encourage you to keep talking. Just be careful not to confuse true laughter with a nervous giggle.

2. She tells you to take a sip of her drink

This one has been an almost 100% indicator for me over the years that a woman was ready to be kissed.
If you’re at a bar talking to a woman, and she hands you her drink and says something like “Try my drink.” Or if she encourages you in any way to take a sip of her drink, she is unconsciously telling you that she is comfortable with you on a more intimate level. This is a great “little known” how to tell if a girl likes you.

3. She asks you if you have a girlfriend or pries for the information

When a woman is around a man that she is becoming attracted to, she will almost always try to find out if he has a girlfriend. Most women will flat out ask. If she doesn't flat out ask, she’ll most likely ask questions that pry for the information like “Who do you live with?” Or if you just told a story about going on vacation or to a concert, she’ll say “Who did you go with?” If a woman has no interest in you whatsoever, she very rarely will care whether or not you have a girlfriend.

4. She calls you a player

Strange ba?

Most guys would assume that if a girl says “you’re such a player” that she is probably not interested.  But this is just one of those counter-intuitive things you figure out with enough time talking to women. If a woman calls you a player, two things have already been accomplished. The first is that she has become comfortable enough around you to say that sort of thing. And the second, is that she views you as the sort of guy who is used to talking to women.

If a woman ever makes this sort of statement, simply view it as a “shit test” and go on with the conversation as usual. DO NOT defend yourself or try to prove to her that you aren't. In fact, the best response is to just smile and say “Is it that obvious?” and proceed with the conversation as if it was never said. There are various other “indicators of interest” that some dating gurus recommend looking out for such as body language, eye contact, and verbal cues. Watch out for these as well  

*sighs* this dating game is pretty tricky but "we shall overcome" lol guys u can take these tips to the bank and thank me later!!