14 WHAT? NIGERIA RANKS TOP 5 COUNTRIES IN SEARCH OF GAY PORN

With the implementation of 14 years imprisonment if you are found to be gay plus another number of years to people that are found to be aiding and abetting gay people a lot of folks both home and abroad would think we NIGERIANS are one in our general disgust of gay's and lesbian's. Unfortunately when this policy was put in place it was met with some resistance but they were not enough to sway the senate from passing this into law. Imagine my amazement when I found this study!! you better pause a bit and read the fine print!


According to a recent report, Nigeria, which portrays a vehemently anti-gay image, is among the top 5 countries who surf the internet for gay porn. As eagle-eyed Alex Park pointed out in a recent Mother Jones post, Pakistan is, according to Google Trends, “by volume the world leader for Google searches of the terms ‘shemale sex,’ ‘teen anal sex,’ and ‘man f-cking man.’”

Both Pakistan and Nigeria rank in the top five for Google searches of the term “gay sex pics” and “anal sex pics.” Kenya, another vehemently anti-gay nation, ranked first for both searches. (HuffingtonPost)

Scary stuff aye? what do you think about this? drop a line here....

NEW STUDY: HAIR RELAXERS MAY CAUSE FIBRIOD

*Stretching*  It definitely has been a long hiatus for me but I'm so back and my first offering to appease all of you, my dear friends lol,  is this shocking discovery I came upon.

A new study in the American Journal of Epidemiology has linked hair relaxers to uterine fibroids, as well as early puberty in young girls.

Scientists followed more than 23,000 pre-menopausal Black American women from 1997 to 2009 and found that the two- to three-times higher rate of fibroids among black women may be linked to chemical exposure through scalp lesions and burns resulting from relaxers.

Women who got their first menstrual period before the age of 10 were also more likely to have uterine fibroids, and early menstruation may result from hair products black girls are using, according to a separate study published in the Annals of Epidemiology last summer.

Three hundred African American, African Caribbean, Hispanic, and White women in New York City were studied. The women’s first menstrual period varied anywhere from age 8 to age 19, but African Americans, who were more likely to use straightening and relaxers hair oils, also reached menarche earlier than other racial/ethnic groups.

While so far, there is only an association rather than a cause and effect relationship between relaxers, fibroid tumors, and puberty, many experts have been quick to point out that the hair care industry isn’t regulated by the FDA, meaning that there’s no definite way to fully know just how harmful standard Black hair care products really are.

Fibroid Facts

Fibroids are tumors that grow in the uterus. They are benign, which means they are not cancerous, and are made up of muscle fibers. Fibroids can be as small as a pea and can grow as large as a melon. It is estimated that 20-50% of women have, or will have, fibroids at some time in their lives. They are rare in women under the age of 20, most common in women in their 30s and 40s, and tend to shrink after the menopause.

According to US studies, fibroids occur up to nine times more often in black women than in white women, and tend to appear earlier. The reason for this is unclear. Also women who are overweight may be more likely to have fibroids. This is thought to be due to higher levels of estrogen in heavier women.

Most fibroids grow within the wall of the uterus. Health care providers put fibroids into three groups based on where they grow:

• Submucosal (pronounced sub-myou-co-sul) fibroids grow just underneath the uterine lining.

• Intramural (pronounced in-tra-myur-ul) fibroids grow in between the muscles of the uterus.

• Subserosal (pronounced sub-sir-oh-sul) fibroids grow on the outside of the uterus. Some fibroids grow on stalks (also called peduncles, pronounced ped-uncles) that grow out from the surface of the uterus, or into the cavity of the uteru

I bet after reading this you might be wondering going all natural doesn't sound so bad after all :)

SYNCHRONIZED SEX?

   

Now contrary to what the screaming header says this post is nothing about synchronized sex...I was about to say there's nothing like that but then again I won't put anything past these "oyibo's". It is a catching header though aye? Now I was scouring the internet thinking what I could talk about since I've been on hiatus for far too long and I came upon this very helpful tip for married couples, so listen up:

If your sexual relationship is not living up to your needs, stop complaining and start asking for what you want. This means you first need to look within to identify your needs. When you communicate, be specific. 

• Do you really know what your partner wants? Find out. Maybe you and your partner are not as far apart as you think. Talk about things when you are both calm and rational.  Relationships are about negotiation and compromise — and it never stops. Carve out time. Negotiate a plan that works for both of you. Behave your way to success. If you agreed to a plan and it's no longer working for you, sit down together and negotiate a new plan. Partners rarely have the same level of sex drive at the same time. Negotiate for some middle ground that you can both be happy with.

• Don't base a relationship on sex. You need love, compassion and caring — and then sex can be a reflection of that. Don't think of it in either/or terms: You can cuddle when it's time for that, have an active sex life as well, and have tremendous love and respect for each other throughout. Different people have a different language of love. Look at your emotional needs because they affect your sexual relationship as well.

• What sexual baggage did you bring to the relationship? For example, if sex defined previous relationships that failed, you may be reluctant to get too sexually active in a new relationship. Look at your history and learn from it. Don't use sex for the wrong reasons, and burden it or load it up with too much meaning. For example, it shouldn't be a way to validate your partner. It should be an extension of the caring, feeling and respect you have for the other person. 

• Remember that quality, not quantity, is the most important factor. The choices you make have consequences. For example, if you choose to work, go to school and have a family, you may have very little left to invest in a sexual relationship. Change your behavior and decisions if you want different consequences. Try delegating responsibility if you're too exhausted or over-worked for sex. The quality of a relationship depends on how well it meets the needs of those involved. Consider your partner's needs as legitimate, and look at how you can meet those needs. Don't label your partner as being wrong or having something wrong with him/her because that dismisses the issue.

• Ask yourself or your partner: Are you really too tired? Or are you just tired of him/her? Are you getting him/her in the mood?Maybe your version of foreplay isn't working, you may want to try doing things differently. You may need to work a little harder to motivate, inspire, seduce or attract your partner. If your wife is exhausted from a busy day of chasing kids around, try to do some things that will decompress her. Run a bath and let her relax while you put the kids to bed.  Even the smallest gesture can seem romantic to your partner. 

TO SHAVE OR NOT TO SHAVE?

*Rubbing hands together* I'm super excited about this. This is definitely something for the fellas I came across this article on askmen.com about how women are more attracted to men with facial hair-beards-.

To shave or not to shave, that is the question.And the answer? It’s surprisingly clear: Don’t shave.
A recent study conducted by researchers from the University of New South Wales and published in Evolution and Human Behavior found that women found men with beards -- specifically 10-day-old beards -- more attractive. Not just that but guys with full-beards were perceived as better and more protective fathers.  Both men and women had to rate the faces with varying levels of facial hair growth (clean-shaven, five-day stubble, 10-day stubble and full beards). While guys thought clean shaven looked better than a short, five-day beard, women actually rated smooth faces as the least attractive.

Past studies have found that men with beards look tougher, more aggressive and masculine and would make better romantic partners.So what’s a guy to do? Find the right facial hair style for you face and learn how to take care of your beard:

I personally had to do some serious soul searching to see if I fall under the bracket of women that are attracted to men with beards and I discovered that I am not lol. To be on the safe side I think it's only right for me to state for the benefit of all women that are not attracted to men with facial hair that there's always an exception to every rule and "we" just happen to be that exception. I don't particularly hate men with facial hair but that isn't what strings my guitar but if the brother looks anything like the hottie whose picture I put up then that's an entirely different story altogether :). Remember drop a line or holler @keeksokafor

OPRAH'S ADVICE ON MEN

So admittedly this advice is coming in several years late being that the advice had been published since 2007 BUT since I'm just coming across it I figure that a lot of you might not be aware of it. The reason why I'm going to such lengths to blog this advice is because just recently...last Thursday to be precise I and my colleagues did a program called HOT DIVAS in which I gave a lil advice on how women would know when a guy just isn't into her. Alas several days later to my amazement I see Oprah talking about the same things I spoke about on radio and hitting the nail hard on the head!! I strongly advice that ladies read this and most importantly learn from it!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better.


Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.  Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone Else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.

Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them....and an entire lifetime to forget them."....I love this advice i just had to share, feel free to drop your thought s about this right here or holler at me via twitter @keeksokafor. Don't forget to hit follow first *winks*

LADIES: SIGNS HE'S NOT IN FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP

Ladies alright it's time to get smart you know that very quotable bible quote that says "the kingdom of God suffereth violence and violent take it by force"? well this totally applies here if you get into a relationship and you want it for the long hull here are some tell tale signs to show that he's not on the same page with you. The sooner you read these signs and get out the better for you.

Looking for a serious relationship? Beware of these warning signs.

In the early stages of dating, it can be difficult to tell what kind of relationship a guy is looking for. Does he just want to have fun, or is he hoping for something more? Here are five important signs that he's not looking for anything serious.

1. He tells you. If he has explicitly told you that he is not looking for a relationship or he's not looking for something serious believe him. He is trying to be open and honest about what he can and can't give you. And don't be insulted because it's not about you. It's about timing. He may be focused on his career, he may just want to have fun with his friends or he may have more serious intimacy issues. None of that matters. If he says he's not looking for a relationship, there is nothing you can do that will change his mind.

2. He keeps his distance from you. He might say he wants a relationship but his actions may speak otherwise. If there's always a reason he can't spend too much time with you, he's keeping his distance from you. If he wants to be with you, he'll fit you into his busy schedule.

If you tell your guy that it makes you smile when he does XYZ and he stops doing XYZ that is another clear sign he is keeping his distance from you. He may be doing this intentionally because he thinks making you smile will somehow transform what you have into a serious relationship or he may lack the awareness and not realize the distance he's creating.

3. He doesn't have any close friends. He may say he wants a relationship but if you notice that he doesn't have any close friends, he may not know how to foster intimate relationships. His idea of a close relationship may be very different than yours. If he has worked in a supervisory role for many years, he may not recognize the need to treat his partner as an equal. To get an idea of what he can offer, pay attention to the relationships he currently has

4. He doesn't have any good relationship experience. If his only romantic relationships have been the kind that involved work and stress, he may not believe that relationships can be any different. He may say that he is open to "seeing where things go" but without any model of a good relationship, he may actively prevent a relationship from developing. If this is the only factor inhibiting him from moving forward with you, it might be beneficial to have a gentle discussion about it. But if he doesn't want a relationship, you'll have to accept his choice.

5. He doesn't follow through. When a man is interested in you, he calls when he says he'll call; he shows up where he says he'll show up and he'll consistently make plans with you. If he offers to help you with something, he follows through and helps you. But if he's inconsistent with following through, he's not trying to create a relationship with you.

The sooner you can recognize the signs, the sooner you'll be on your way to meeting someone new and relationship-ready trust me ladies i've been through this before I saw the hand writing boldly written on the wall and I got out fast. My heart got broken in the process but so glad that I didn't have to pro long a headless relationship. Hey but as usual if you've got any comments please drop them or better still questions hit me up on twitter @keeksokafor, hit follow first *winks*

HOW TO GET "HIM" TO PROPOSE

This is strictly for the ladies, so fellas keep off lol. Seriously though this particular posts borne out of  the need to help ladies out. I notice alot of women have been in relationships that they feel aren't going anywhere and they need to give their men the much needed push!! well listen up:


There will come a time in your relationship with the guy your sure is ‘The One’ when you want nothing more to take the next step, get engaged and continue the rest of your life with him by your side. However tradition has it that you have to wait for your man to propose so it seems your destined to become one of those girlfriends that gaze at him meaningfully during your friends weddings, and broach the marriage topic every time you get a chance.

I cant stress how important it is not to try these methods of getting your guy to propose

a) A man proposing under pressure will be a man likely to bolt down the aisle on the day, when he realizes he wasn't ready.

b) Pressuring him means he is more likely to bolt before the proposal has taken place as he is feeling like you have been trying to trap him.

Most men do want to marry the woman they love. They do dream of settling down and having children. But it needs to be their idea. They don’t want to be scared by your talk of saving for a big wedding and what age you just start trying for children. I don’t believe in there being any tried and tested methods of getting your guy to propose as it will only happen and last if its meant to be but you can help by reminding him how happy you would be together;

1) Carry on having fun together,remind him your the kind of girl he would want to spend the rest of his life with, the girl he can have a laugh with, have great sex, your not an old married couple yet and you don’t want him to see you that way. Nagging him about going out drinking and spending nights in watching football will only discourage him.

2) Don’t be afraid to talk about a future that doesn't see you two getting married, if its the opposite of what he wants it will spur him into proposing. I don’t mean you have to threaten him I mean talking hypothetically about a quite unlikely fantasy future that gets him thinking.

3) Talk about the future in terms of exciting trips abroad or things you would like to achieve together or financial achievements you aspire too instead of discussing mortgages and children.

Remember: He wants to propose to you, the woman he fell in love with, not some chick you have metamorphosed into that is desperate for a ring. But catching the bouquet at your friends wedding won’t hurt…*winks*

I sincerely hope these little guidelines help I would have tried 'em out myself but alas i'm a very single chick lol .As usual if you've got something to say please drop a comment or better still you can holler at me on twitter it's @keeksokafor don't forget to hit follow first lol.