ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

  

Now here's the most common mistake we women make before marriage: thinking our man will change when he gets married. It doesn't always pan out that way especially if we can already see the tell tale signs of him being violent, we tend to want to ignore it,you know wish it away thinking it'll get better or sort it's self out when you two are married or that your love for him will triumph and all that jazz!! Why people stay in abusive relationship's is a topic for another day but how you as a woman can tell an abusive man before you get too deep is what this is about. Here are a few signs that'll tell you he's definantely gonna beat up on you:

Now According to the American Psychological Association Force on Violence and Family, they have broken down the top 10 signs of an abusive man. If your partner exhibits one or more of these signs, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship and seek help or get out.

1. Jealousy and Possessiveness—Becomes jealous over your family, friends, co-workers. Tries to isolate you. Views his woman and children as his property instead of as unique individuals. Accuses you of cheating or flirting with other men without cause. Always asks where you’ve been and with whom in an accusatory manner.

2. Control—He is overly demanding of your time and must be the center of your attention. He controls finances, the car, and the activities you partake in. Becomes angry if woman begins showing signs of independence or strength.

3. Superiority—He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be “right” by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.

4. Manipulates—Tells you you’re crazy or stupid so the blame is turned on you. Tries to make you think that it’s your fault he is abusive. Says he can’t help being abusive so you feel sorry for him and you keep trying to “help” him. Tells others you are unstable.

5. Mood Swings--His mood switches from aggressive and abusive to apologetic and loving after the abuse has occurred.

6. Actions don’t match words—He breaks promises, says he loves you, and then abuses you.

7. Punishes you—An emotionally abusive man may withhold sex, emotional intimacy, or plays the “silent game” as punishment when he doesn’t get his way. He verbally abuses you by frequently criticizing you.

8. Unwilling to seek help—An abusive man doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him so why should he seek help? Does not acknowledge his faults or blames it on his childhood or outside circumstances.

9. Disrespects women—Shows no respect towards his mother, sisters, or any women in his life. Thinks women are stupid and worthless.

10. Has a history of abusing women or was abused himself—Batterers repeat their patterns and seek out women who are submissive and can be controlled. Abusive behavior can be a generational dysfunction and abused men have a great chance of becoming abusers. Men who abuse animals are much more likely to abuse women also.
I thought this was important and had to share it, take it seriously and act on it.